This is a very touchy topic. Being a single parent seems to be becoming more popular than ever before. I read more and more emails that start with “I am a single mom of three”, etc. While this is not exactly something to be ashamed of, it also isn’t to be proud of either.
I am speaking from experience here after being a single mother of two and also the product of a broken home myself. As a child in the fifties, single parents were very few and far between. It was a shameful thing usually and I recall some children who were not allowed to play with me because my mom was separated.
My own experience of being a single mom was a real struggle and I would not wish it on anyone. After sixteen years of doing what I thought was my best to make it work, I gave up. We hadn’t heard much about therapy or counseling at that time, and it might have helped, or not, we will never know now.
My very lonely, and poor existence as a single parent gave me time for much thought on the subject. Many people give up on their marriages much too soon, without having really tried. They look forward to some kind of freedom, free of the bonds on their marriage. Often, I hear people talking about the reasons their marriage failed and really, being honest here, they seem quite trivial.
If you have been thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, please think very carefully before you do something that will cause you to be sorry, possibly for the rest of your lives, not to mention the lives of your children.
Do everything in your power to make your marriage work. The basis of any relationship is communication. Open, honest, and clear communication is paramount and a starting point for help and healing.
Couples often forget that it was just the two of them in the beginning and they should always come first with each other. Take time to date each other and spend time together. Really listen to each other.
I have heard it said that finances and romance are the two main reasons why marriages fail. There are many categories within these two, but lets try to keep it simple. Cut back on expenses, get out of debt as soon as possible, say no to credit cards and learn to be a frugal cook and shopper, will all help towards solving the financial arguments.
Remember, when a family splits up it will now be the expense of maintaining two homes and if finances were one of your issues, this will make things a whole lot worse.
The romance is just that, romantic. Make time for each other and put each other first. Don’t let others invade your privacy by talking about your mate to your friends. Your good times and problem times are for sharing with your mate only. You might think that your girlfriends mean well and listen, but your best friend must be your mate. Get his or her attention and make them listen.
If all this just sounds too simple, well it is simple. Its back to basics. Cut out the unnecessary and stick with the basics. Think twice, and thrice before giving up on your marriage. Don’t flirt with disaster.